MORE JAIL TIME

WHILE I LIVED AND WORKED IN COSTA RICA I BECAME INTERESTED IN THE ARCHEOLOGY OF THAT COUNTRY. I READ EVERYTHING I COULD FIND WHICH WAS VERY LITTLE. I BEGAN COLLECTING ARTIFACTS OF CERAMIC, STONE, JADE AND GOLD. I FOUND ART DEALERS IN LOS ANGELES AND NEW YORK WHO WERE SO INTERESTED IN THESE PRE-COLUMBIAN ARTIFACTS THAT THEY WERE SENDING ME CHECKS EVEN BEFORE THEY SAW WHAT THEY WERE GOING TO GET. AT TIMES MOST ITEMS ARRIVED BROKEN. THAT DID NOT BOTHER THE DEALERS. THEY JUST GLUED THE PIECES TOGETHER AND THE ITEMS NOW LOOKED OLDER THEN EVER. IN ACTUALITY THE AGE WAS BETWEEN 600 TO 800 YEARS OLD.
SO I BEGAN SHIPPING ITEMS TO THEM THAT I PURCHASED FROM DIGGERS WHO MADE A LIVING AT IT. MY SHIPPING TO THE U.S. LASTED SEVERAL WEEKS UNTIL THE POST OFFICE BECAME CURIOUS AS TO WHAT WAS IN THE PACKAGES. I TOLD THEM AND THEY SAID THAT I CANNOT DO THIS WITHOUT CHECKING WITH THE MUSEUM. THE MUSEUM HAD THE RIGHT TO KEEP WHATEVER THY WANTED.I ALSO HAD TO PRODUCE PHOTOS OF EACH INDIVIDUAL ITEMS. THIS SAILED ALONG SMOOTHLY FOR ANOTHER FEW WEEKS UNTIL THE MUSEUM CUT ME OUT ALTOGETHER. TODAY IT IS ILLEGAL TO TAKE ANY PRE-COLUMBIAN ARTIFACTS OUT OF THE COUNTRY. HOWEVER BACK THEN ( ABOUT 40 YEARS AGO) WHEN I FINALLY LEFT COSTA RICA AFTER HAVING LIVED THERE FOR SEVERAL YEARS AND HAD A SUBSTANTIAL COLLECTION I PUT THEM IN TWO CRATES AND SLIPPED THRU CUSTUMS AS BAGGAGE. THE CUSTOMS AT MIAMI LOOKED INSIDE ONE OF THE CRATES AND SAID ," JUST THESE OLD POTS". THEY WERE MUCH MORE INTERESTED IN THE PARROT MY FIVE YEAR OLD SON WAS CARRYING ON A STICK. BUT WE GOT THRU WITH NO TROUBLE.
I WAS INTERESTED IN GOING ON A DIG WITH TWO MEN I HAD BEFRIENDED. THEY WERE FROM A LITTLE TOWN OF TURRIALBA (TODAY IT IS NOT SO LITTLE). WE WENT UP INTO THE HILLS TO SEE IF WE COULD FIND POTENTIAL GRAVE SITES. WE FOUND ONE AFTER SEARCHING FOR ABOUT TWO DAYS. THREE LARGE ROCKS SET IN A TRIANGLE OFTEN MARKED A GRAVE SITE. IT WAS NOT EASY TO FIND SINCE THE RAIN FOREST GROWTH COVERED EVERYTHING. WE DUG FOR THREE HOURS IN THE SWELTERING HEAT AND CAME UP WITH A SMALL BROKEN POT. CERTAINLY NOT THE GRAVE SITE OF AN IMPORTANT PERSON. THAT WAS MY EXPERIENCE WITH PRE-COLUMBIAN GRAVE DIGGING.
WE CAME OUT OF THE HILLS AND INTO THE TOWN OF TURRIALBA. UNFORTUNATELY THERE WAS A RUMOR GOING AROUND THAT SOME GRINGO HAD STOLEN A CAR. WHEN I SHOWED UP IN TOWN I WAS THAT GRINGO. WE TOOK A ROOM IN A HOTEL AND SAT AROUND DRINKING BEER AND DISCUSSING WHAT TO DO NEXT WHEN SUDDENLY THE DOOR BURST OPEN AND TWO SOLDIERS WITH RIFLES AND BAYONETS ATTACHED JUMPED IN. WE WERE QUITE STARTLED AND WE RAISED OUR ARMS ABOVE OUR HEAD IN RESPONSE TO THEIR ORDER. MY TWO FRIEND WERE SOON LET GO. I WENT OFF TO THE TOWN JAIL ALONG WITH MY BACK PACK AND MY SIX SHOOTER. I TOLD MY TWO COMPANIONS TO GO BACK TO SAN JOSE AND TELL MR. FONT WHAT HAPPENED. YOU WILL RECALL MR. FONT FROM MY EXPERIENCE IN THE PENITENTIARY.
I WAS PUT IN A SMALL CELL APPROXIMATELY SIX FEET WIDE BY EIGHT FEET LONG. IT HAD, AT LEAST, A RAISED PLATFORM OF BOARDS THAT YOU COULD SLEEP ON. THE DOOR WAS OF WOODEN PLANKS AND I COULD SEE A LITTLE BETWEEN THEM. THERE WAS A DRUNK IN THE CELL NEXT TO ME. HE WAS YELLING AND CRYING AND BANGING ON THE WOODEN DOOR. FROM TIME TO TIME HE WOULD SLUMP TO THE FLOOR AND THEN I COULD HEAR CLIMBING BACK UP TO A STANDING POSITION SWEARING AND CURSING ONLY TO SLUMP BACK ON THE FLOOR AGAIN. SOMEBODY IN ANOTHER CELL WOULD YELL OUT SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP HIJO DE PUTA THIS HAPPENED SEVERAL TIMES UNTIL HE DID FINALLY FALL ASLEEP. I COULD NOT HELP BUT CHUCKLE .
AFTER A RESTLESS NIGHT SLEEPING ON THE BOARDS I WAS BROUGHT IN THE OFFICE OF THE (JEFE). THIS WAS THE BIG CHEESE OF TURRIALBA. KIND OF LIKE A SHERIFF AND MAYOR AND ALL ROUND BIG WHEEL. HE WAS FAT AND GREASY AND HAD A THIN MUSTACHE I SAT AT HIS DESK AND HE HANDED ME A PAPER THAT HE HAD HIS GIRL JUST FINISH TYPING. I WAS NOT TOO GOOD AT READING SPANISH BUT THE GIST OF THE PAPER WAS THAT IF I LEFT MY GUN WITH HIM I WOULD GO FREE. THE GUN WAS A SHINNY COLT 22 CALIBER SIX SHOOTER. I TOLD HIM IF HE WANTED TO BUY MY GUN I WOULD SELL IT TO HIM BUT I WOULD NOT GIVE IT TO HIM. HE BECAME VERY ANGRY AND TORE THE PAPER TO SHREDS AND I WAS MARCHED BACK TO MY CELL. IT WAS LATER ON IN THE AFTER NOON THAT I WAS FREED AND KEPT MY GUN. MY FRIENDS HAD RETURNED TO SAN JOSE AND FOUND MR FONT AND EXPLAINED WHAT HAD HAPPENED. MR FONT CALLED SOME POLITICAL BUDDY WHO CALLED MR. GREASY AND I WAS OUT. A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE.